Hello, Third Trimester

27 Weeks.  6 Months.  2/3 Of the way through.  3 Months to go.  However you want to look at it, the weeks are just flying by.  Nevertheless, it does seem like a long way to go still before the baby arrives, though I know it will go quickly.

I can say at this point that this has been my best pregnancy to date.  I have especially enjoyed these last few weeks immensely.  I feel great, and I can honestly say I attribute that to staying healthy and active.  If only I had been so diligent the first two times around!

That looming hip and pelvic pain that I was having has not increased, in fact it has improved greatly.  I have figured out that a combination of staying active, daily stretching and exercise, and resting smart has meant virtually no discomfort.  There are times where I feel a bit of pelvic pain if I have been sitting or standing for any length of time, so really the trick is to stay moving.  I also make sure that any time I am sitting and relaxing, I'm on my exercise ball and not on the couch.  It really is the best place to sit for optimal back and pelvic positioning, and I never get sore from sitting on my ball but if I spend time sitting on the couch or chair I'm sure to feel it when I get up again.

I am still doing all the things I always have done, with no sign of slowing down.  I do wonder if one day the pregnancy will catch up with me and I won't be able to do as much, but I'll deal with that the day it comes.  I remember with my last pregnancy it was around 7mos that I stopped doing my regular bellydancing, so we'll see how I feel at that point.  But I expect I will push through much longer than that.

Not too sure how much weight I have actually gained but I know that this is the smallest I have been yet out of any of my pregnancies.  In fact I have been getting a lot of comments about how great and tiny I look, which is music to my ears.  With the boys, when people would ask how far along I was and I would say "6 months", it was usually followed by the comment, "REALLY, that's all?"  With my first I easily looked 9 months pregnant at 7 months.

Yesterday I had my latest midwife appointment with Lynne-Marie, who I had met before I was pregnant but not yet for any of my prenatal appointments.  She is fantastic!  We chatted forever and she was really great to talk to about my hopes for a homebirth and the attitude that I had been met with from my husband.  Her words and experience were really reassuring to me.  Everything checked out fine and she said she has no concerns at all about my pregnancy.  My blood pressure was perfect, in fact I don't think it's been high a day in my life.  I'm measuring about 25 weeks which is a bit smaller but I'm happy with that!  As far as she can tell the baby is head down though I know it's still early and that can change, but it's still reassuring!  It was at 26 weeks that we found out our first baby was breech, and he never moved from that point.  I'm hoping this baby has decided that is the best place to stay.  The baby's heartbeat sounds great, between 140-150, which interestingly she said indicates that it might be a girl.  I don't know if I believe any of that kind of stuff though!

I have declined the glucose screening test, given that I really do not have any risk factors.  It's interesting because I didn't know it was optional, in the past it was always offered as a routine test.  Lynne-Marie said we could always test at any time if any red flags came up, but I feel confident that gestational diabetes won't be a problem for me.  It's funny knowing what I know now, how many different decisions we are making with this pregnancy than we did with the other two.  Before I just opted for all the testing offered to me, but this time around I have more information and it has been the simplest pregnancy so far, with fewer scans, blood tests, and other tests in general.  It's kind of nice to not have to go through all that.

I spoke with another midwife as well named Jane who just joined my team.  I had met her previously as well at the parenting expo I attended in October and was happy to see she was on my team.  She also had some very reassuring things to say about planning a homebirth and said if there was anything we needed they would help us with out decision.

Next week is supposed to be the homebirth information night that I booked us for, but I hadn't written down the date and now we can't make it which is a bit disappointing.  But we can still gather information from the midwives and attend the next one in June.  Lynne-Marie and I discussed the possibility of a homebirth and even a waterbirth, and she gave me a list of things I would need for both as well as a registration package for the hospital.  I figure the best thing to do would be to register at the hospital and plan for the possibility of either a home or a hospital birth.

So I finally got up the courage to bring up homebirth with my husband again, and at least this time was not met by total negativity or hostility about the topic.  He was more understanding but it's obvious that he is still far from comfortable with the idea.  I think I have to accept that homebirth is never going to be something he is comfortable with, but hopefully when the time comes he will be able to trust my instincts as well as the midwife's to know where the best place to have this baby will be.  It might very well be the hospital, but it might be home too.  We may not know until the day arrives.

This baby beats me up on a regular basis.  My first son was active in utero.  My second son easily topped him.  This one takes the cake by far.  It actually turns my stomach and makes me feel ill occasionally with all the kicking and moving it does.  I have said to my husband that I can't bring myself to believe that this baby is a sweet little girl, and that it must be another crazy little boy.

I have actually been experiencing a very tiny little bit of mild heartburn lately which is not something I have had in the past.  I don't recall it at all with my first pregnancy, and with my last one I think I had it the odd time, again very mild and not enough for me to even know for sure.  It's very similar this time in that I'm aware of it, I *think* that's what it is, but it is not bothering me at all.  It's not like I need to take anything for it or lie a certain way to make it go away.  But it does seem to be happening with more frequency than it had in the past.

I feel very ready to have another baby in the house, and there really isn't all that much we have to do to prepare.  We have essentially all the gear we will need for this baby.  Clothes we can get when we need them.  I do need some cloth diapers and a few diapering items, but those can wait awhile as well.  I can't think of anything specific we will be needing for when the baby comes.

We still need some names though as we have yet to agree on any single one, boy or girl.  Agreeing on names has always been a challenge for us, it's a wonder our children get named at all!

So a pretty good update from me.  All is well and I'm feeling great.  No complaints, let's hope it stays that way for the next 3 months!

Sharing My VBAC Experience

Re-living and sharing my VBAC experience never gets old for me.  I could recount it a hundred times and so many details will be the same, but there will always be something new to add to it.  Almost 2 years later and I'm still sharing it with anyone who asks.

The leader of our local ICAN chapter has asked if anyone would like to share their VBAC stories with her to include in a binder that she is putting together to keep at the midwives clinic here.  I of course was happy to send my story to her. 

I think one of the most important things for a woman planning a VBAC is to be able to hear from other women who have planned VBACs, even if they didn't turn out the way they had originally hoped.  Because it is one thing to read all the research and facts, but it is quite another to read about how it all happened for someone in real life.  Somehow the stories of other women seem much more powerful than all the medical research in the world.

I hope she will be able to include my story in her collection for other women to read, because I think it is a really positive one and hopefully will give others hope that they too can achieve their VBAC dreams. 

More pregnancy updates to come!

Halfway!

I'm halfway through this pregnancy.  Which means 20wks down and 20wks to go.  It's hard to be patient sometimes.  I really want to enjoy every minute of this last pregnancy because I know I'll never do it again, but at the same time I already feel like I'm tired of being pregnant.  It seems like with every subsequent pregnancy my body has just given up a little bit more, and some days I feel like I'm much further along than just 20wks, which makes me scared for how I am going to feel at 25...30....35wks!

Still can't really complain though.  Well, I can, but I shouldn't.  I feel good, am eating well, sleeping fairly well, and managing to stay active. 

Not sure how much weight I've gained at this point though, maybe around 15lbs.  I'll check it out tomorrow at my midwife appointment.  I feel huge sometimes, but actually when I look at pictures from my last pregnancies at this same point I look about the same, so I don't think I'm bigger than I should be for 20wks along.

We had our big anatomy scan last Thursday and it went really well.  The ultrasound tech was really nice, but the scan took forever, or at least that's how long it felt as I lay on the table needing to pee so badly.  It's really cruel making a pregnant woman drink so much water and then not letting her pee.  I don't like scans simply for that reason.  But everything looked good as far as we could tell, of course she couldn't actually tell us anything and we'll have to wait to hear if anything looks amiss from the pictures.  We saw two arms and two legs, and it looked like baby had all 10 fingers and toes.  I was surprised that I wasn't even tempted to find out about the sex!  It's too late now, we really have to a wait until baby arrives. 

I'm feeling tons of movement and have been for many weeks already, since about 14wks.  I have always felt movement from 14wks on with all my pregnancies, which I know is early.  Now I am feeling full out kicks and can even feel them with my hand on the outside.  All of my babies have been super active in utero, and this one is no exception!

One thing I can complain about though is I am experiencing a lot of discomfort in my hips already.  I have felt it before in my other pregnancies, but it occurs earlier and earlier since my body is more relaxed from having gone through this before.  It's just given up!  So while I stay active and I feel great when I am exercising, by midday and the evening I'm often in a bit of pain.  It's affecting my legs which get tired and sore very easily.  I have been seeing my chiropractor and a massage therapist which really helps, but I am pretty much always aware of the discomfort all day long, every day.  It's only going to get worse I imagine!  One thing that really helps is sitting on my exercise ball instead of on a chair or couch, so I try to do that every evening as well as stretching.

I'm coming to terms with the fact that this will be my last pregnancy and feeling pretty good with that decision.  My hubby has made it clear that he is not interested in more children after this, and while I really did agree I also found it hard to shake the feeling of not going through it again.  It was hard to close the door on pregnancy and babies for good.  But as time goes by, I am actually looking forward to being done with this stage.  I have always loved being pregnant so much, and so I'm sure I will always miss it, but I am very ready to move on and focus on me, and get my body back!  There are things that interest me that I haven't been able to fully pursue because I've either been pregnant or breastfeeding or taking care of small children.  So I look forward to the days when I will get to do more stuff for me again. 

On a related pregnancy topic, I finally got my copy of More Business of Being Born!  I have watched two of the four dvds so far, the one in which they visit the Farm Midwifery Centre in Tennessee and speak with Ina May Gaskin and the other midwives there, and the one about VBAC.  They were interesting for sure.  I look forward to watching the other two dvds as well, hopefully sometime this week.

Will try to post pics of my last ultrasound if I get around to scanning it onto the computer, and will write more after my next midwife appointment as well.

Home Birth and Home Birth After Cesarean (HBAC)

Ok ok, I've put it off long enough.  I have been avoiding doing this post because I haven't been in the mood to sit and think and write.  But really, I don't think have to think about much for this post if I don't want to.  All I really wanted to do was link up a bunch of information I've come across in my research about home birth and HBAC so that if anyone is so inclined they can have a peek.  That's easy enough to do!!

I guess a little blurb on what home birth means for me is in order though.  The first time home birth may have come up between my husband and I as on option for birth, it was not something we would have considered.  I think I may have read a little about it during my first pregnancy, but did not think I would ever be comfortable with it.  This is probably something that is really common for most first time parents to think.  Childbirth and becoming parents can seem like such an overwhelming experience the first time around.  It's uncharted territory. 

When I was pregnant with our second son, while I did know more about birth and had more confidence in the process, I still would not have considered a home birth, mainly because I was having a VBAC and also it was not given to me as an option by my midwives.  I'm sure I could have pressed for it had it been something I really wanted, but given my births were going to be only 20mos apart, it was not recommended and I was fine with that.  Plus, since I hadn't laboured or given birth naturally with my first, the birth process was still very unknown to me, even though I had taken the time to educate myself a lot more than I had with my previous birth.

My husband likes to remind me of the fact that we had previously decided that home birth was not for us.  I am not so quick to go back to my ways of old thinking.  I know a lot more now, I have been through a lot more.  I would like to consider a home birth this time around.  He on the other hand is not so keen.  Let's just say we have had two arguments about it thus far (months ago already) and have not spoken a word on the topic since.  It is still early, and I have no desire to bring it up again this early in the game.  But trust I am not laying down and giving up on this one.

For me:  I have experienced childbirth in two different ways now, both in hospital settings and both positive experiences.  I have spent the last several years reading and learning about the birth process, and have come to have confidence in this process and in my body.  While I did have a positive hospital birth with my VBAC, in my heart I just want to be at home.  I know it is safe, I know it is where I want to have my child.

For him:  He has not read anything on the safety of home birth (or anything on birth for that matter), and is still following the ignorant point of view that it is best to be in the hospital.  He cannot shake that fear that something could go wrong where we would need instant access to care.  He feels I am putting myself and my baby at risk and am being selfish for wanting to do this.

Well, how much detail do I need to go into here really?  I have been secretly compiling information on home birth (as well as HBAC) for him to read, because the bottom line is he has not read anything and does not have significant information to back up his side of the argument.  Right now what I think would be fair is if this discussion is only brought back to the table once he has read the same amount of material as I have, for only then will he be allowed to have a say in this choice.  He is free to try and dig up as much anti-home birth information as he can find, but I think he will see that what I have researched is accurate and much more compelling. 

The stats and the research is there:  Planned home birth under expert midwife care is just as safe and maybe even safer than hospital birth.

My case was not helped by our first meeting with the midwife, who in her inexperience did not seem nearly as comfortable with an HBAC as I would like.  I made the mistake of having my husband at this appointment, and let's just say he was rather shaken by her lack of confidence in the matter.  This of course was very disappointing to me, because I know a more experienced midwife would have had a calmer manner and more accurate information and experience to share with us.

There are other factors as well that are making it hard for me to really express why this is so important to me.  Most of the time when asked why a woman wants a home birth, her response is so that she can avoid medical intervention.  In my VBAC hospital experience, we arrived and had no issues with doctors or medical staff trying to intervene.  It all went really well.  So my husband might argue that there is nothing to try and avoid, we can have the same birth at the hospital that we could have had at home.  On the other hand, we would be giving birth in an entirely different hospital this time around, so there is no guarantees that I wouldn't still fall prey to a cascade of intervention.  I will admit though, that this is not a concern of mine.  Already having had one fully natural VBAC, I would be confident enough to say that interference from the medical staff or unwanted suggestions of intervention is not one of my concerns.

Our midwife did make a very interesting point though and that is the hospital in this town (unlike the hospitals in the city where we had our other children) is only a class 3 hospital (or was it class 1? I can't remember the order they go in), meaning that obstetricians and anaesthesiologists are not always on the premises, rather they are on call.  So the time it would take to assemble the team in the event of an emergency would be about the same whether I was at home or in the hospital.  Of course my husband's argument to this would be that nevertheless, there would still be staff on hand to get the ball rolling, if let's say I needed blood asap or something along those lines.  I think what he fails to realize is that midwives are professionals equipped to deal with all sorts of emergencies, including hemorrhages, and they carry all the necessary equipment and medications in such an event.  He also fails to realize that incidents of maternal hemorrhaging are actually higher in hospital settings.  All information I plan on relaying to him, in good time.

And of course, there is the little factor of HBAC that I have to contend with.  Perhaps persuading him to go for a home birth would be easier if it weren't for that one little thing - having had a previous cesarean section does put me at a higher risk for complications.  This risk is really so minimal though, and I have information on the safety of VBAC to back it up as well.  Not to mention the fact that I have already had one VBAC already, which significantly increases my chances of another successful one. 

But putting all this information together to support my case is not as easy as it sounds.  I KNOW all this in my head already, I have read it, researched it, and fully believe it.  Getting it across to him is not so easy, as I don't have much of a way with words (or arguments) and really I just come off as a blubbering mess whenever the topic has been brought up.  Which is why it is important he reads it for himself.  Unfortunately he doesn't want to be an active participant in the pregnancy or birth planning process, which makes it hard (and also wants to make me say "Hey, if you don't care to be involved, you have NO say in this matter and I'm giving birth where I want to!").  He is not interested in reading any information or doing his own homework.  It is all up to me.  But don't worry, I have lots for him to read, I'm just waiting for the timing to be right.

We will be attending a home birth information session at the midwives practice in April.  The baby is due in July so there is still time to read and discuss further this matter.

So WHY do I want to give birth at home?  Well, my last birth happened so smoothly, that I look back and think, "Why didn't I just stay home?".  I mean, I could have.  I spent almost my entire labour by myself at home, and not even the slightest bit uncomfortable.  Why would I want to move on to a setting that might change the outcome?  Even while my hospital birth was a positive one, I still can't help but feel I'd be better off at home.  I remember when I got to the hospital, at 9cm and almost ready to push, there was just this feeling of being 'there', and wanting to get on with it.  All I could think was, "Get me on that bed and let me push this baby out".  It's like my mind switched over, and I just stayed there.  I pushed and gave birth on my back, resulting in horrible tearing.  It's almost like from the moment I got there, I gave up my 'natural birth' and succumbed to the 'get on your back and push' mentality.  I feel as though staying at home will help keep me focused, and help me want to stay upright and stay moving, and birth this baby without having to be cut or tear really badly. 

I would also like to consider the possibility of a water birth, something that is not an option in a hospital setting.  Again, maybe the feeling of the water will help me avoid giving in and giving up during that last gruelling stage, so that I can have a less traumatic and more peaceful birth.

And really, who wouldn't want to be in the comfort of their own home?  To avoid having to pack a bag that is usually overpacked because you didn't know what you'd need.  To not have to sit in a car while in the throes of labour, in pain as you go over every bump in the road.  To avoid arriving at the hospital, moaning in pain, and being wheeled to L&D while people watch.  To not have to check out and go home again.  To be able to get up and go take a shower in your own bath tub, and sleep in your own bed.  It's really too appealing to pass up.

He'll ask me "But what if something goes wrong, how could you live with yourself?".  Well, first of all you have to inform yourself and weigh the risks.  Birth is not without risk, where ever you are.  Heck, life is not without risk.  And if you do your homework, you will know the risks are there, but they're small, and the midwives are equipped to handle almost anything that could happen.  Of course I can't say that I'm 100% sure nothing would go wrong, but I am sure enough.

So as promised, before I go on any further with my own dribble, some information I dug up pertaining to home birth and VBAC/HBAC (I've included info that is strictly VBAC because it helps when deciding whether or not to go for HBAC).  This is essentially the same list of links I have saved to send my husband, when I am ready to bring it up again.  (I have more links to news articles about the studies on VBAC safety but have omitted them since I have included the link to the very study that all info in the articles refers too).

VBAC Facts - HBAC

Midwife Thinking - VBAC, Making a Mountain Out of a Molehill

Midwifery Today - Home Birth After Cesarean

CMAJ Research on the Safety of Home Birth ***well documented and acknowledged Canadian study on the safety of home birth with midwives vs hospital birth with midwives vs hospital birth with doctors that provides accurate numbers supporting the safety of home birth***note: if you read the whole thing, it does state that once the VBAC subgroup was removed the outcomes were not significantly different

Ontario Midwives - Birth at Home

I'm sure this is just the tip of the ice berg.  I'm sure I could find even more compelling information to support home birth.  And I'm also sure than someone who is anti-home birth could find equally as much information supporting the dangers of home birth.  Such is how these things usually are.  Another fantastic resource that I have mentioned, and I will mention it time and time again, is Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.  Her statistics are undeniable proof that home birth under the proper care is safer than hospital birth.  And I would also recommend the documentary, The Business of Being Born (which I was able to get hubby to watch with me, so I'm hoping that has opened his eyes somewhat).

Now, as it is time to get the kiddos up from naps, that will be all from me today (didn't I think this was going to be a quickie just to post some links?).  Maybe someone else might find the information I've dug up helpful as well.

A Birth Story to Share

I'm certain that every woman who has given birth will no doubt agree that it is an experience like no other, no matter how it happens.  There are many words a woman may use to describe giving birth - powerful, spiritual, life-changing, amazing, terrifying, the list could go on.  For all women, there is no denying the feelings they have surrounding their birthing experiences, but many of us don't know how to put it into words.  Some women have a gift with words and can share what we all feel so beautifully.  I'd like to share a birth story with you that I read today that was powerful, moving, inspiring, and close to my heart as it was a VBAC.  I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did!

Hello Judah - A Birth Story by Adriel Booker from The Mommyhood Memos

Support Midwifery!

I had a little bit of a 'crazy lady' moment as I was certain I had already posted here about my support for midwives and their cause to bring birth centres to Ontario, but I looked and couldn't find that post.  Turns out I had posted it on my other blog, Life on the Bay.  No worries, because I am back to post about it again and show my support!

I have posted before about how with my first pregnancy I started out with OB care but soon wised up and switched to midwifery care at 29wks, and have never looked back since.  NOT that I don't believe obstetricians aren't important, in fact in many cases they are absolutely necessary, but for my uncomplicated pregnancies and births, using midwives was the better choice for better care.  Even during my planned cesarean with my first son, our midwife was present to take care of the baby after he was born, and midwives attended to our postpartum care.  I have had nothing but positive experiences with our midwives so far (from 3 different practices in Ontario) and consider them an invaluable resource which is too often taken for granted.

Obstetricians are experts in complicated birth situations, but the midwives are the experts in birth.  Choosing a midwife for your uncomplicated pregnancy and birth means you are making the best possible choice in prenatal and post partum care, for you and your baby.

In many parts of the world, especially in Europe, midwives take care of most of the births that happen in those countries.  In fact it is quite the opposite of how it is here in Canada.  Here when you are pregnant, you get referred to a doctor and have to seek out midwifery care.  In many other countries outside of North America, you start with a midwife and are only referred to a doctor if the need arises.  Countries who use midwives for all uncomplicated births often show lower statistics for medical interventions, surgical births, and even maternal and baby deaths.

Midwifery in Ontario is growing and gaining support.  From a sheet I received from my current midwives, produced by the College of Midwives of Ontario, "The number of births attended by midwives in Ontario has been increasing each year since regulation.  Last year approximately 10% of all births in the province were attended by midwives.  Approximately 20% of midwife attended births take place at home."  As you can see midwifery in this province is gaining momentum, and good thing too!  You can check out their website linked above and on the side of my blog for more information.

I feel so fortunate to live in a province where midwifery is funded, supported, and easily accessible, and where women are given choices in how they would like to birth.  Many woman in other parts of the world do not have easy access to midwives and often have to pay and fight for a normal birth or else be under the mercy of harsh hospital and doctor policies, and heavily overused medical intervention.

Ontario Midwives are currently working to try and bring birth centres to Ontario.  I think this would be an absolutely amazing thing if it were to happen.  I would no doubt choose to give birth in a birth centre if it were an option.  To help bring awareness for the need for birth centres in Ontario, the midwives have made this lovely video which you can view here.  To create this video they asked women who have given birth in Ontario to submit pictures of them during pregnancy, and/or pictures of them with their midwives.  I was happy to participate and sent in two photos.  You can see a photo of me during my second pregnancy at 17 seconds into the video, and one of me and our wonderful midwife Marlene Sagada from Riverdale Midwives in Toronto, the same day I gave birth to our second son at 1 minute and 10 seconds in.

Read more about how you can help support midwives and bring birth centres to Ontario here.

I doubt I will ever get the chance to give birth in a birth centre unless there will be one built before July!  But I hope that more women in the future will choose midwives for their care, and will have the opportunity to birth in a birth centre here in Ontario.

More compelling information about how mothers in any country can benefit from a midwifery model of care can be found in Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, which I have already mentioned before.  If you are interested in learning more about how midwives are good for birth, please read that book, and if you'd like to learn more about midwifery care in Ontario and how you can support it, please check out any of the links I've posted above.

I want to see my baby!

So I have passed the first trimester, and moving into the 'honeymoon' stage of this pregnancy.  I feel great, I'm starting to get a little baby bump so it won't be long now until I actually look pregnant and not just fat.  Now I am telling everyone openly and it's so nice to just announce to people in conversations and talk about the pregnancy and how excited we are.

And now, I just can't wait to meet my baby!  It's so hard to be patient.  The other day I took went to a prenatal fitness class which was actually a postnatal class but the schedule was mixed up (I was able to stay and participate anyway), and there were two other moms there with their little babies.  Seeing them made me want to see mine even more. 

The baby stage with my second child was such a blur, and due to the circumstances was not particularly enjoyable.  I found it hard to enjoy him as a baby, and of course I'm really sad for that now.  I wish things had been a bit better and I could have enjoyed him more.  I feel like those days flew past so quickly and I hardly remember him as a tiny baby.  I am so looking forward to doing it all again, even the hard parts.

I'm still feeling great, and even better now that we have started back into our routine and I've been back to exercising again.  I'm getting a bit of a belly, and while sometimes I think I am huge in reality I haven't really gained any weight, and I'm not that big at all considering this is my third baby.  I can still fit into my regular jeans, though I prefer to wear my maternity ones simply because they are so comfortable!  I need to start taking pictures of my belly as the weeks go by.  With our first pregnancy we were pretty good at taking pictures every week or two from the second trimester onwards.  We didn't take as many with the last pregnancy, and we'll probably forget most of the time with this one but I hope we manage to catch a couple!

A few weeks ago I finally stopped breastfeeding my younger son, just before he turned 20mos.  I'm thrilled that I was able to breastfeed him as long as we did.  I didn't have any specific time frame for how long I was going to breastfeed him, and wasn't sure if it was something I would let him decide or whether or not I would start the weaning process.  With my first son I found that by the time I was 2mos pregnant I really didn't have much milk to offer, so we stopped and he was fine.  It was similar this time around, where I didn't have much milk left, but this time my son was reluctant to stop as he did seem to enjoy it more than my first did.  I had mixed feelings about it.  While I still loved the cuddle time I had with him in the evenings before bed when I breastfed him, I was getting very tired and breastfeeding was getting more uncomfortable as there was nothing there.   I also knew that I didn't want to continue for the whole pregnancy or do tandem nursing as I wanted a bit of a break between babies.  So after the holidays I initiated the wean, and while initially he was taken a bit aback, it went very smoothly without issue.  We still have our cuddle time with a story, and I think he enjoys that just as much.  I look forward to another successful breastfeeding career with this next baby, but I'm also looking forward to giving myself a little break for a few months.  Afterall, I have been either pregnant and/or breastfeeding for 4yrs now so I have to pace myself!

While I find I am feeling good overall, I have been having persistent headaches for about 2wks now which are driving me nuts.  I've never had such a long run of headaches and I figure they are probably pregnancy related.  I have been drinking lots of water and trying to take care of myself, and yet I am still getting them.  I really hope they let up soon.

I'm also not sleeping all that well.  It's not too bad, but I am waking several times a night which is getting annoying.  Most of the time it is to go to the bathroom, but often there are other reasons (like a headache or sore back), or sometimes there is no reason at all and I just wake up.  I'm also having very strange and vivid dreams which also disrupt my sleep.  Luckily though I'm still getting enough sleep overall, as annoying as it is, so I am feeling energetic throughout the day.

Pregnancy hormones are rampant and I find myself likely to tear up at silly little things, especially if they are either sad or heartwarming.  I tend to watch a lot of TLC baby shows like A Baby Story, and while a lot of the labour practices actually make me upset to watch, I also find the heartwarming aspects of the show make me all emotional.  I almost just bawled my eyes out at an episode where a couple was having twins using the mother's sister as as surrogate, as she herself had battled breast cancer and was unable to carry children at that time.  Because of how easily I get teary, I try to avoid reading or watching any sad stories, or else I would be crying my eyes out all the time.

So that is how things are going so far.  I know I have promised a homebirth post, and I have not forgotten, I have just been avoiding having to sit and put more thought into it.  It will be here soon I'm sure.  Right now I'm just enjoying being pregnant and trying not to wish it away, as much as I want to meet my little baby now!