ICAN of Simcoe County Pregnancy and Parenting Expo

Today I left the kids with my husband and drove out to Barrie to check out the Pregnancy and Parenting Expo hosted by ICAN of Simcoe County.  I am a member and volunteer with the organization so baked some cookies to bring with me for the bake sale.  I wasn't sure what to expect but I was most definitely looking forward to going.

I don't think they got quite the turnout they were hoping for but I loved every minute of it.  I finally got to meet some of the ladies from ICAN that I had been in contact with through message boards and email, and I got the chance to speak with some midwives from the Nottawasaga and Barrie practices.  It is always great to connect with other people who I share common interests with and I am always happy to talk babies and birth with anyone else who is willing to listen. 

We watched 2 movies at the event and I enjoyed both of them very much.  The first was called Labouring Under an Illusion which explored the media's portrayal of labour and birth.  I have to admit that parts of the narrative were rather cheesy, but the film was overall very entertaining and quite funny, and the message was very clear and powerful - that the media gives a hugely distorted portrayal of what birth is actually like. 

I think about this topic a lot actually as admittedly I do tend to watch all the TLC shows on babies and birth quite often (A Baby Story, Baby's First Day, etc).  I have liked these shows for as long as I can remember, but since having children and especially since planning my VBAC, I am very much aware of how unproductive they actually are, and they don't portray how the birth experience should be.  Even though they are 'reality' shows, I am often quite saddened and disappointed by the practices I see on them.  Still I am compelled to watch them, if only to shake my head (though I do find there are some touching moments as well). 

The second movie that we watched was probably one of the most entertaining and fascinating movies I have ever seen.  Babies follows the lives of 4 babies from different parts of the world - Namibia, Mongolia, Tokyo, and San Francisco - from birth throughout their first year.  I found it truly amazing to see these babies and the different cultures from which they come from.  It was so heartwarming to watch, and to realize that babies, no matter where they are from, really do share a universal likeness as they are new to the world and learning all about it.  I would recommend this movie to anyone.

I was like a kid in a candy store today at the expo, taking it all in and enjoying every moment of being around others who are so passionate about birth and babies as well. 

There were also door prizes and I bought a lot of tickets thinking that with the low turnout I'd probably get a lot of stuff.  I think everyone else had the same idea!  I didn't get any of the things that I really wanted (mostly books on parenting and babies), but I did get a few things like wall stickers for my boys, a couple pairs of gloves, a yoga mat and travel mug, a necklace and some bath products. 

The silent auction had some amazing stuff as well, I couldn't believe how great the items were and actually I could have gotten a lot of stuff for very little money (compared to what they would have costed normally), but I was trying to be good as I figured my husband wouldn't be too happy with me if I bought the place out.  I wish I had bid on a few other items like a book I had my eye on, a ring sling (even though my kids are too big for it, I'd love to have one for next time), and a gift certificate for someone to come and clean my house for 3hrs (I totally should have bid on that one!).  What I did bid on though and won was a photography session from a very wonderful photographer in the area.  I'm really excited, because I have wanted to have pictures done of the boys for quite some time but have been putting it off due to cost.  Now we can get them done!

One last exciting thing is that the leader of the ICAN chapter is going to be hosting doula training early next year!  So maybe, just maybe, I will be able to get started sooner rather than later.

I had a wonderful, birth and baby filled day.  I know that they did not get as many people as they hoped for this time, but I thought it was a success and look forward to more of these events in the future.

Here are the trailers for Babies and Labouring Under an Illusion.  Check them out!

A Small Update

I'm still here!  Life has been keeping me very busy, but my blog and my dreams are never far from my thoughts.  I'm still reading The Baby Book almost daily, even if it's just a few pages at a time.  It will take me awhile longer to get through it but that's ok.  I figure as long as I keep reading it and don't let it go more than a day or two, I'm in good shape.

I have got my ICAN of Simcoe County membership up and running, at least I think I have.  They have received my payment though I haven't gotten a confirmation back from them yet, which I have enquired about today.  There was supposed to be an online support meeting last night but it got postponed.

But on a related note, ICAN is hosting a Parenting and Pregnancy Expo in Barrie next month.  More information can be found here - Pregnancy and Parenting Expo 2011.  I definitely plan on attending.  They will be showing two movies, Labouring Under An Illusion and Babies, both which look very interesting and you can see trailers for on the ICAN website.  I'm excited to check it out, and you should too!

Otherwise not much new is going on.  I have been thinking about my training and originally I thought I wanted to complete 4 of the Childbirth International courses, but I am now thinking of doing just two - birth doula and breastfeeding counsellor.  I figured those are the two which are most important to me right now, and I can always add on at a later time.  Scaling down to two makes my goals more achievable I think, as I will only have to save up half the money now to get started.

Still no immediate plans to register, but that could change at any time.  You never know!

The Baby Book and Parenting Styles

I've finished August's book, albeit a teeny bit late (kind of slowed down towards the end there!), and so onto another book.  This month I'm starting The Baby Book by Dr. Sears.  It will no doubt take me much longer than a month to read it, it's quite long and I tend to read in tiny bits and pieces rather than big chunks at a time.  As with the last book, I have already read this one before, maybe even twice.  It is a great resource with lots of information not just about babies, but a broad range of topics including attachment parenting, breastfeeding, labour, birth and postpartum, toddlers, and so on.

Whenever I read (or re-read) a book, I tend to get bombarded with a slew of my own thoughts and emotions regarding my own parenting experiences.  There is often that feeling when looking back, thinking "Did I do the right thing at the time?"  I also find my opinions are constantly changing based on my own experience over the years.  When I first read The Baby Book my older son was a newborn, and it all made so much sense to me - the babywearing, the sleep sharing, listening to my baby and reading his ever cue.  As a new mother I thought it was brilliant.  I soon discovered that not everything is for everyone.  Take co-sleeping for example, something that sounds so beautiful in a book turned out to be not right for our particular family.  While in the early weeks it did make my life easier, I soon realized that both my baby and I slept better in different rooms.  End of story.

So then I changed my point of view, thinking that attachment parenting was not all it was cracked up to be.  I read a few other books in the meantime, and took from each what was helpful.  Some books were more helpful than others.  Some were the total opposite of attachment parenting, and others preached a happy medium where they said it was ok to not feel like a mother has to be 'all baby all the time'.  We developed our own sense of what worked based on all of this.

And funnily enough, going back and reading the Sears book again, now that my boys are just a bit older than last time, I am starting to see where he is coming from.  That whatever parenting style you choose has to be what fits your family.  It doesn't have to be an all or nothing deal.

Parenting is a journey that starts when you find out you are pregnant.  And it doesn't stop at any one point, it is ongoing and ever changing, and you are always learning.  So many times I look back and think "If I knew then what I know now" - with my pregnancies, with my births, with my children as tiny babies, then older babies, and now toddlers.  It makes me feel like I want another chance to do it all again, just so I can do it right.

It's hard to think that you might have somehow did it 'wrong' with your child in the beginning, like there was a better way.  But there is no way of knowing how things will be, no matter how prepared you are.

But then I realize that I did do it 'right'.  I didn't always know what was best, but I was learning and my babies were learning with me.  We have been on this journey together, helping each other through it.  I have read a lot of books, and there are a lot more to be read I am sure.  I have felt overwhelmed at times thinking I should be doing things a certain way.  Then I realized that I have done things the right way for us.  I have taken from the books I've read what has applied and worked for us.  Not every thing suits every family.

In any case, I have a poor teething toddler who is once again up from his nap early and upset calling for me, and so while I think I probably had more to add to this post, it will have to wait for now because he calls.